Two thousand seven.
Interviewed with a company for a small molecule position that I absolutely loved. Thought I did very well in the interview. Got really good feedback. But I didn't get the job.
I cried and drank and dialed and cried some more.
Many month later, I found out that the company was having troubles, and they were on a company wide hiring freeze.
Sometimes, it really isn't about you. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with you at all.
Stumbled upon The Law of Attraction. Introduced it to my aunt. It completely changed her life. To the point where I'm afraid she has overdone it.
As for me? It works.
You are what you attract.
A painful drama.
She (6:38:39 PM): i 'm sorry i stopped talking to you
She (6:38:42 PM): i want to tell you why
She (6:38:46 PM): that night you got drunk
She (6:38:50 PM): you said something that offended me
She (6:38:57 PM): and i just didn't want to deal with it
She (6:39:04 PM): soi acted childish
Me (6:39:16 PM): oh
Me (6:39:20 PM): what did i say?
She (6:39:28 PM): i don't want to get into it
She (6:39:39 PM): but it was similar to something that victor said to me before..
She (6:39:59 PM): just a general disbelief and lack of faith in me and questioning why i got a job offer and you didn't type of thing
Me (6:40:43 PM): whatever it is, i'm very sorry
Me (6:41:24 PM): why bring it up now?
She (6:41:37 PM): i meant to do it sooner
She (6:41:39 PM): just never did
She (6:41:45 PM): kind of just got too busy
She (6:42:50 PM): i realized it's not worth the anger and youguys were probably just frustrated
She (6:42:51 PM): whatever
Me (6:44:16 PM): and so now you want to start talking again....?
She (6:45:12 PM): i'm just not angry ove rmore
Me (6:47:36 PM): if you brought this up A LOT sooner i can do something about it, now i dunno what to tell ya
Me (6:48:40 PM): saying sorry so late isn't gonna cut it so i dunno why you bring this up now
Me (6:49:52 PM): you want me to feel bad or something?
Me (6:50:16 PM): want me to know what i'm the one who screwed up our friendship?
Me (6:53:08 PM): next time you wanna say something, say it right then or don't say it. period
She (6:53:00 PM): i thought you'd be curious
Me (6:53:15 PM): i was
Me (6:53:26 PM): got over it
She (6:53:33 PM): i wasn't being passive aggressive
She (6:53:45 PM): i jsut figured if someone could think that about me, they weren't worth my time or friendship
Me (6:53:57 PM): you want me to tell you how upset i was when i realized that our friendship is over?
She (6:54:03 PM): maybe you should watch what you say next time
Me (6:54:18 PM): i
Me (6:54:19 PM): was
She (6:54:12 PM): you want to know how upset i was when i found out you had no faith in me
Me (6:54:20 PM): drunk
She (6:54:15 PM): yeah
She (6:54:20 PM): it doens't mean you can't be honest when you're drunk
She (6:54:27 PM): probably more so, becaus eyou have no inhibitions
She (6:54:32 PM): so i figured it was your sincere thoughts
She (6:54:45 PM): i'm done
Me (6:55:44 PM): if you're so upset then why didn't you tell me?
Me (6:58:01 PM): can't believe you just said i wasn't worth your time or your friendship
Me (6:58:44 PM): fyi, if you want me to feel what you felt, you have succeeded
Me (6:58:47 PM): with flying colors
Me (6:58:50 PM): so congrats
Through all the ups and downs, I realized one very important thing.
I am very blessed.I have friends and families whom I love, and love me in return. They fulfill my every needs, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. They also help me grow, personally and professionally.
Think about these people when you're bitching about life. You'll realize how great and how easy you have it.
This has been a tough year. There were a lot of tears shed, a lot of shriveled hopes, a lot of broken dreams, and a lot of waking up.
But at the end of the day, when everything is said and done,
I am first and foremost thankful.
Thankful for what I have.
Thankful for what I am.
And my heart is warm and full right now.