Monday, August 14, 2006


It’s 5.40 in the afternoon. He’s been at work since 7.30 in the morning. He’s tired, hoping to catch a short nap on the uncomfortable bus seat. He rests his head on the window and closes his eyes.

Suddenly, the bus jerks and stops. He opened his eyes, and catches a glimpse of a man boarding the bus upfront. This man takes his breath away.

He has high cheek bones, the ones that everyone is dying for. His complexion is so flawless he could star in a cosmetic commercial without any makeup. His Mohawk style, blonde tip brown base hair is perfectly styled with a too much product. Not a single strand of hair is out of place. He smells of hair product and deodorant. His eye brows, although appears natural, shapes like two perfect caterpillars sitting above his mesmerizing eyes. His sexy lips look extremely inviting. His loose fit tee does not hide his workout, nicely toned body.

This man is so good looking, it would be a complete waste if he is straight.

This man move further into the bus, and settles down two feet away from him. He admires him. This man is without question, completely out of his league.

Suddenly, he got very angry. He’s very angry at this man. As the clock ticks he became more and more furious at this man. There is no why. Just is. He’s angry at this man and everything that he represent.

Where did this anger came from?

He admits that part of it is due to jealousy. But that’s just a small part of it.

All his life, he’s been trying to be unconventional. Because he’s not the best or the most or the number 1 in anything he does, he’s been trying to do things differently. To be unconventional. He’s straight acting. He doesn’t like to hang out with too many gay guys. He doesn’t like being around flaming homosexuals. Unconventional. Do things differently. He doesn’t use tons of facial product, like the conventional gay guys who care too much about their look. He doesn’t have the short Mohawk hair style that is so typical among the gay guys. He doesn’t look gay at all.

And then this man came on the bus and shattered all that.

He’s angry at himself for finding this man extremely attractive. This man, who stands for everything he doesn’t believe in. This man, who is so stereotypically gay, his picture should be posted next to the word ‘gay’ in dictionaries.

This man, whose breathtaking beauty has shown him one thing.

He shows him that after so many years, he is still insecure about himself.

Evidently he’s been deluding himself all this time.