"Hey Laura what's up?"
"Oh I thought you said 'one second'."
"Oh no I didn't. So what's up, Laura?"
"Nothing. I was just returning your call. Do you need help with homework?"
"I did, but I don't anymore. I gave up."
"Oh you did?" laughs.
"Yeah. It's completely retarded. It's all fucking messy algebra anyway."
"Yeah you're right. I spent hours and hours working on that problem and I didn't get anywhere."
"Yeah, oh well. Forget about it."
"So what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Umm.... tomorrow? I'll be doing a lap report."
"What?! You're not serious."
"Yes I am. Why?"
"You gotta do something tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'm doing my lab report."
"But you gotta go out, it's Valentine's day. You have to go on a date."
"I don't have any plans for tomorrow. And where am I gonna find a date all of a sudden?"
"Well you have to go out. Promise me you'll think about it."
"All right. I promise."
"Ok Snakehead, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you. Bye."
Well, if cupid is out there and pointing arrow in my general direction, please tell him that I live in Berkeley, right next to Telegraph Road. If he doesn't know where that is, ask him to give me a call at G1J-HAK-D0M0.
If he's not, then to all the happy couples out there: treasure your partner. Put him or her on a pedestal for just one day, and cherish the moment.
Also, to all the unhappy couples out there: dump him/her. You're stronger than you think. You're more beautiful than you think. You're thinner than you think. And most importantly, your life is more complete than you think.