Mr. 1000 speaking.

Guess who's the lucky 1000.

That's right.

It's yours truly.

If I were smarter, I would've logged in from sitemeter website, instead of here. But turns out, I'm like, extremely stupid, you know?

So anyway, what should I give myself?

I already have the car and the diaper, and I don't need any portraits. Well, guess I'll just give myself a hand job before passing out tonight. I would've given myself a blowjob a la Martin, but I'm gonna have to surgically remove some of my rib bones a la Marilyn Manson, and that's just a la too expensive. So I decided to settle on a hand job instead.