Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Grumpy went outside to play. And it rains. Grumpy didn't have an umbrella. So Grumpy is pissed.

Q: Why is Grumpy so grumpy today?

A: Because Grumpy started working yesterday. And Grumpy didn't get his work done until 1 am. After watching the new episode of Queer As Folk and his nightly dose of Will & Grace, Grumpy finally went to bed at 2.50 am. At 5.34 am, while Grumpy is in dreamland playing hide and seek with Fabio, Michael Jackson and Ann Coulter (don't ask. I don't know why) in an ice castle while freezing his balls off, Grumpy's cell phone went off. It was fucking loud, so Grumpy had to pick it up. Turns out, it was a stupid bitch from Grumpy's dad's credit card company.

Grumpy: "Hmm...?"
Stupid Bitch: "Harlo?"
Grumpy: "Yeah."
Stupid Bitch: "HELLO?"
Grumpy: "What the fuck do you want, you stupid bitch?"*
Stupid Bitch: "Yeah hi, I'm calling from your dad's credit card company. I'm looking for Grumpy. Are you Grumpy?"
Grumpy: "Uh huh."
Stupid Bitch: "I was just wondering if you have bought something from Australia.... are you sleeping?"
Grumpy: "Yes I did. And I'm not sleeping. I'm playing hide and seek. Now fuck off."**
Stupid Bitch: "Oh sorry sir. I'm fucking off now. Bye."

Yes, I did bought something from
Aussiebum (Australian guys are HOT HOT HOT!). But guess how much was it. Ready? Are you really ready? It was........ $29.38! That stupid bitch woke me up for a fucking $29.38! Geeez.

On a related note, I started working yesterday, and I'm at work now. Research, to be exact. Specifically, doing research of the permeability of oxygen in contact lenses. Oooooooo.... Yeah, no shit. And guess what do we run the experiments with? Ready? Are you really ready? We do it with......... women stockings and panties. No shit. I don't think I can reveal any more information for the fear of getting sued. Maybe I shouldn't even tell you about the stockings and panties. Oh well, just pretend that you don't know.

* Of course I didn't say that. I'm a nice guy. Even when I'm grumpy. Even when I'm sleeping and grumpy. Even when I'm playing hide and seek while grumpy and sleeping. Even when.... you get the point.

** I might have really said that. Not too sure about that one.