I'm a toxic french whore with the biggest COCK in the world.

My friend Lynx (no, not the cat. I don't meow. I speak) told me that there are too many profanities in my blogs. No, not this one, silly. My old blog. I hardly written anything on here. She said it sounded like "I am so angry with the world". Am I? I don't think so. But maybe subconsciously I am. I don't think that's good. Because I do sometimes imagine myself as Ice-man/Wolverine combo that goes around freezing the hell out of everything and then with my Wolverine claws, crush and grind those ice and make magaritas out of them.

Mmm... Wastin' away again in Magaritaville. You go, Jim! (God I'm a dork!)

So anyway, I've decided to keep at least this entry to be as PG-13 as possible. Maybe even G rated.

So I went shopping today. In downtown San Francisco. Where everything is expensive. And when you're a poor college student like I am*, it's not going to be very fun. Except for the fact that you get free entertainment from strangers.

Let's see. There's this super hot guy with 55 o'clock shadow. So so SEXY. I kept bumping into him at various stores, and what did I do? Of course I didn't go up to him and say Hi. Don't you know I'm the biggest chicken in the world? To be sexually correct, I'm the biggest cock in the world. Now I LIKE that name. Biggest COCK in the world. Yupe. That's me. Want a drink? Hang on let me make some magaritas. From scratch. As in I freeze everything up and them grind them with my claws to make crushed ice. Nevermind. You didn't get that. Neither did I. Let's move on.

And then there's this guy standing right in the middle of the street telling people not to have sex. Something about Jesus Christ doesn't want you to do it. Yeah, OK buddy. That's only going to happen when my dick got bitten off by a dog. A chow chow to be exact. Why would a chow chow want to bite off my dick? Well I don't know. Perhaps it's because I have the BIGGEST COCK in the world. That's why. Shit. Even dogs are jealous of me. (Shit is PG-13 friendly, right?)

Oh and the traffic jam. In a BART. Yes, BART have their very own traffic jam today. At one point we're moving slower than the ACTUAL traffic on the freeway. The cars crawling at 5 mph are moving faster than us. Bastards (Bastards are also PG-13 friendly, right?). Soon they're gonna start building stop lights in the sky. You know, for the airplanes. Maybe birds too, if they passed the written and flying test.

One of the reasons I went shopping is to look for aftershave balm that smells really really good. I don't need to use it as I shave once every 3 weeks (Some of us are genetically hairless. Yes, I am a man. Now shut up). But the last time I was at the pool, this guy in the next lane smelled SOOO good I had the urge to just throw myself at him and start *bleep* and *bleep* him right there (This is a PG-13 post, remember? No sexual contents allowed). I decided if he can smell that good, so can I. Anyway, I had a bunch of tester sprayed all over my body becausing you know, I'm stupid. But it's OK because I have the BIGGEST COCK in the world. At the end of the day, I smell like a french whore. With toxic body odor. And of course, I ended up not buying anyone of them.


* I had this line in my financial aid application, "Living in the Bay Area is expensive. Rent alone has rendered my daily meals to mostly spaghetti pasta with tomato sauce." I swear I wrote that. Those sons of bitches better give me some money or I'll go postal on them.