Sunday, May 29, 2005

Living in Lala land where the clocks don't tick.

I have too much free time on my hand.

That’s not good ‘cause I’ll end up doing things I really shouldn’t be doing.

Things like:
1. Jack off.
2. Think about sex EVERY SINGLE second. Not every 8 seconds that studies have shown, but EVERY SINGLE second.
3. Jack off.
4. Think about how big of a loser I am.
5. Jack off (to take my mind off step 4)
6. Wonder why am I still single.
7. Jack off.
8. Come to the conclusion that I am EVERYTHING nobody wants.
9. Jack off.
10. Continue the process of killing my self esteem.
11. Jack off (while watching porn).
12. Crawl into bed and cry ‘cause I, along with everybody else in the world, hate me.
13. Dry my tears, and then fire up some porn again, and jack off.
14. Getting tired from cumming so much. Take a quick nap,
15. Wake up feeling rejuvenated, and repeat step 1 to 15.

Today, I got to thinking…

Cum is mostly made out of protein. When you ejaculate, you’re basically losing protein in your body.

Would that make you skinny? Is that how some men lose weight? By cumming 200 times a day?

Let’s look at an equation (what?! I’m engineering major. What do you expect?):

Protein intake – Protein loss = Accumulation of protein in body

Protein intake = protein drinks, energy bars, occasional meat/fish (if I can afford it)
Protein loss = Cums.

I jack off so much that I think my protein loss > protein intake.

Thus my accumulation of protein is < 0.

Which means I’m losing protein.

Is that why I’m so skinny?

Does this also mean that body builders are not allowed to jack off or have sex? Or they have to stop right before they reach their orgasms so that they don't lose any protein?

If so, I really pity them.

Their bodies are ugly as hell to boot. And they can’t even ejaculate to make them feel better?

Man, do I pity them.