Wednesday, July 06, 2005

TGIW. Yes, I said Wednesday, because Wednesday is awesome.

Today cannot get any better.

I rode a steam train. In my jammies. With 50 other 5 year olds.

No, really.

Let me start from the beginning.

I took my car to a junk yard. It had to be euthanized. I mean, there's no way in hell, and I mean no way in hell that I'm gonna pay $2300 to fix a car that's worth only $700, tops. The best part about this? I get a $1000 in return for a piece of crap! Woo hoo!! I'm rich, bithces! I'm seeing male strippers with a bunch of body shots, iPod and a pair of Gucci loafers in the near future. Suckass, bitches!!!!

So, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially carless. Now all I need is dreadlocks, not showering for 30 days, smoke pot and I'm all set to become a full fledge hippy. Oh wait, I'm already 1/3 hippy! Ha!

Let's see how long I'll last before I start bitching about not having a car. Today is Day 1.

So, after everything is said and done and I'm $1000 richer, my roommate gave me a ride home. We were almost home when he suddenly asked if I have ever been to the National Park not too far from our house. I haven't. So we went home.


Is that funny? For some reason I think it's super funny. Like water-squirting-out-of-my-nose and laughing-so-hard-a-little-pee-came-out funny. Like LOL and LMAO and ROFL all-rolled-into-one-big-AFLMORAFMR funny. My sense of humor is unparalleled, isn't it?

So we drove up the hill. First stop, taking in the view. The view was gorgeous. The weather was perfect. The breeze was awesome. My jammies looks great. My hair is as crazy as a crazy bastard who just got electrocuted. Everything was a perfect 9.9. Second stop, the lake. It's a lake, all right. What with all the kids screaming and the water splashing. I don't know how they can play in a pool of garbage water. Yeah, that's how bad it smells. And then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, without any warning...

A turtle came up to the surface to breathe. 3 seconds later, he disappeared back into the water. Between the kids and the foul smelling water, this 3 seconds seems... so tranquil and so beautiful. I'm a city kid. This is the first time I see a turtle comes up for air. In real life.

Next stop, the steam train ride. There was a huge yellow bus at the parking lot when we pull up. There was 50, I counted, 50 very disiplined 5 year olds waiting for the ride. Between the 5 year olds and the 50 year old chaperones, me and my roommate felt extremely out of place. The kids were looking at us like "what the hell are these two morons doing here?"

But seriously, those kids are SOOOOOOOOOOO cute. There's this little boy. I squat down and said hi to him. His mom asked him to say hi back, but instead of doing that, he lifted up his tiny little hand and touched my chin. I totally melted. And then he smiled. I turned into Jell-O. He had me at that smile. Really, he had me at that smile.

Then the train came. Is it wrong that I almost got into an argument with a 5 year old over the front row seat? I mean, I was there first and I yelled 'shot gun' and everything. Why can't he sit at the back with all his friends? And why do I have to move? This is so unfair. You can't fight with a 5 year old. They always win.


I couldn't stop smiling the entire 12 minutes while I was on the train. I felt like a little kid again. A little 5 year old riding a steam train.

It was perfect. A perfect 10.