Want a title? Sorry, you're not getting one today.

I was just wondering if all Bostoners are like this.

Another potential roommate came knocking on the door at 2pm.

"Hi. Sam?"

"No, it's Ben."

"Oh sorry, Ben. Come on in." Honest mistakes. I've shown the bedrooms, the kitchen, the living room, the bathrooms, the laundry room and the backyard 3500 times. I can't remember names anymore.

Once we're inside, I hit 'play'.

"Let me show you the room and..." I was interrupted before I can finish.

"Do you have the backyard?" He asked. He interrupted to ask if there is a backyard.

"Yeah."

"Can I see it?"

"Uhh... sure. This way." I led. He followed. When we're outside, he surveyed the backyard very thoroughly. Too thoroughly for my liking.

The weather is awesome. He, on the other hand, is not so. His extreme interests in the backyard have me believed that he has a body he needed to bury.

We came back into the house. I showed him the room. He looked at it for 5 seconds and said, "I'll take it."

"What?" I was incredulous. We haven't even gone over the details yet.

"I'll take it. It's close to what I'm looking for, and I don't want other people take it before I do."

It is at this point that I decided he's not going to "take it", and that I'm going to write about him. We talked a little more, well, more like I asked questions and he answered, and I found out that he's from Boston, going to graduate school, majoring in physics. I know physicists are weird. Are Bostoners weird too?

When he left, he didn't even say bye. He just walked out the door and never looked back.

This must be that time of the year when the weirdos and the psychos come out of hibernation. They need to go back to sleep. There are too many of them roaming around it's unhealthy. I've heard that they can cause allergy, high blood pressure and liver diseases, not to mention tourette and arthritis.

Next on the agenda, we have a story featuring yours truly, the horniest bastard ever, and his ex-not-a-fuckbuddy-not-yet-a-boyfriend, hereonafter will be known as Hahaha. In case you missed it, Hahaha sorta broke my heart a little. We started out as fuckbuddy, then I started falling for him, but he's still falling for his ex, yadda yadda yadda. In the end the sun came out and the rain starts pouring and everyone lives happily every after either by kissing in front of a window, or kissing in front of a spotlight, or kissing in a pumpkin car or kissing on a balcony.

Sort of.

So last night, I was at the subway. It's 15 minutes walk to my house. It was late. I was too lazy to walk. So I called Hahaha and surprisingly he agreed to give me a ride home. We got to my place, I invited him up. He said yes. I was horny. He looks good. Go figure.

We're in my room. I was lying on my bed. He was eating a bowl of ice cream. One thing led to another, heavy making out ensued.

Right about when things started to get real hot,

*Knock knock*

"Hang on a minute," I said as I was scrambling to untangle myself from him in a sea of comforters and pillows. It wasn't easy.

"What's up?" I asked when I got to the door, panting.

"Oh uh... I was wondering if you mind getting us a bottle of vodka and kahlua? We're making white russians," my roommate said, looking a little embarrassed. Truth is, his timing couldn't be better. If there's one place I shouldn't go, it's that place I was going with Hahaha.

"Umm, sure. No problem." I am the supporter of under age drinking.

"I'll take you," Hahaha said as he was putting his shoes back.

Later...

"You wanna come up?" I asked him for the 2nd time that night.

"No, I'm just gonna go home. Kinda tired. Besides, looks like you're gonna have a good time anyway," he said, eyeing the bottles of liquor I was holding.

"All right, I'll see you later then."

"Bye."

I then proceed to get stinking drunk with my roommates. Awesome.

Just a quick note before I let you go: getting high is awesome. Swimming while high is just pure genius. I'm telling you, swimming any other ways is just stupid. If there's one thing you should do before you die, this has got to be it.