Thursday, June 23, 2005

Fired and fried. Cut and drown.

"Snakehead, what is this?"
"Why are you keep getting crap while other people keep getting good result?"
"Look at this. You're getting a consistent 15% errors. Some even 20%!"

If everything goes well, I'll probably have the following conversation either tomorrow or Monday.

"Snakehead, what is this?"
"It's 20% error. Again. Now look at this one. It's 25%!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"You know what? I don't need you here anymore. You're F-I-R-E-D (insert Donald Trump signature creepy ass hand-gesture)!"

And if that is not good enough, I managed to paper-cut myself opening a letter. Not so much as a letter, but more like my credit card statement. Yeah, I couldn't wait to find out how much in debt I am.

"Oh look! Ending balance of $3,049,953. What a magnificent number. I should be able to pay it off by the year 3064. Hmm... what's this?"

Dear motherfucker,

If you don't pay your bills on time, again, I will hunt you down and kick your ass. On second thought, scratch that. I will hunt you down, tie you to a tree, paper-cut your entire body, and slowly shower you with sea water.

Your poor credit card company.

Isn't it nice to receive a heart-warming personal letter written in blood from time to time?

If this day can get any better, I might be able to drown myself in the pool later.

Oddly enough, I'm still in pretty good mood, as the font implied. If you don't know what I'm talking about, that means you're stupid* and haven't been keeping up with my shitty blog long enough. This should solve the mystery.

This is what I look like today, just replace the frown with a smile.
Image hosted by

* No, not you. I'm talking about that guy over there. See, over there, right next to what's-his-name at what-ca-ma-call-it.