Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Oh Reid? Reid is passed out on the bed.

So I'm watching straight porn.


Title of the porn?

My Friend's HOT MOM. (this link is NOT work/school/children/gay bathhouse/cafe safe)

That's right.


Because it's cheap. For 2 bucks, you can beat your salami all the way from here to Zurich.

Because I'm frustrated with my fucking idiotic template that I've just spent 4 hours on and achieved nothing. And we all know the best way to get rid of stress is to watch hot moms faking orgasm, right? I mean, that's what my friend's mom told me.

Because before today, I have no idea that guys are SO into their "friend's" mom. Wow, what an eye-opening experience.

Because if you haven't checked it out, you really should. It's fucking HILARIOUS!

Take this for example:

*Knock knock*

"Mrs. Starr? Wait. Wait..."
"Nicky, what you doing here?"
"Err... Does Reid live here?"
"Umm.. He does."
"What, you're his mom?"
"That's weird. I have no idea you lives here."
"Oh and I thought you were just looking for me." (fake laughs)
"Oh actually no. I stop by to get some software he borrows from me. Can I take a look in there?"
"Okay, cool."

(Mom opens door. Dude walks in. Small talks. Dude's friend Reid passed out hugging a bottle of vodka on the bed.)

"Is he gonna wake up?"
"Um he'll probably pass out for another 2 hours anyways."

(Mom and dude walks to the computer desk.)

"Yeah that's it right here."
"Yeah Okay. Well thanks."
"Well I haven't seeing you for a while. How are you doing?"
"Umm... Still not studying. Still busy fucking my buddies' moms. Barely getting by, if that's okay." (fake laughs)
"Still not studying? Well it's really good to see you."
"It's good to see your tits too."
"Well you wanna hang out for a while?"
"I really should get going..."
"C'mon, hang out with me. My husband's asleep. He won't wake up."
"Well, if he won't wake up then I guess so."

(Mom pulls dude's pants down.)

"I don't know if I should be fucking you here. What if your husband wakes up?"
"Oh he won't be back for another hour."

(Mom's already too busy choking herself with salami while staring at the camera to respond. 5 minutes later, actions are running at full speed when something makes a noise.)

"It's my phone. Hang on."

(Dude hangs on. Mom nonchalantly jump down from the kitchen counter and walks over to the computer desk and answer the phone. For a second there, I thought I was watching One Night in Paris. Talk about deja vu.)

"Hello? Oh Reid, how are you? So you're gonna come home now? Oh, your father is passed out in bed. Yeah, why don't you pick up some bologna on your way home? Okay, bye."

(Mom and dude pick up where they left off.)

I was laughing my ass off. Porns are funny. At least the straight ones.