Tuesday, June 14, 2005

If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I walk away. Watch me unravel, I'll soon be NEKKID!!


I really don't have anything to write today. But I'd like to hear the sound my keyboard makes when I hit the keys. Type type type... Tick tick tick. Sounds so good it brought tears to my eyes and blood to my penis. Almost.

So what should I write about? I can write about the near death experience I had today. A 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck about 300 miles away from me, and they even had a tsunami warning issued. Yeah dude, I'm THIS close to dying. But did you care? Did you even say a prayer for me? Did you even wish that I could swim like, really fast? Did you even hope that I wasn't in some tall building? Did you? Did you? I'll bet one of my testicles that none of you did.

Wow dude. My roommate's friend is walking a bike twice as long as an ordinary bike into the house. Lemme go check that shit out.

Guess what they call that kind of bike. Xtracycle. Xtra, indeed.

Yeah, you're right. I have ADD. You gotta cut me some slacks here, people. I ran out of pills this morning.

So what should I write about? I can write about my new found cyber fame. Check out this article by BBC News. Scroll it down until you see the picture of Spice Girls (don't worry about the rest of the article. It's irrelevant to me anyway). The last sentence of the paragraph right above that picture. Do you see it? Do you see my name? Do you see my name and Brad Pitt's name in the same sentence? Do you? Do you? Man, THL is gonna be so upset over this.

I know what I can write! And I'll do it with a list, because I'm feeling list-y. But it'll be an even numbered list, just to please NDC. Yeah, he has a thing with odd numbered lists. Weird, huh? I know. Ssshhh.... don't let him hear that.

1.) I laugh at people who say things like "nuclear energy is the cleanest, most enviromental friendly energy in the world" because they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. They obviously know nothing about the reactions that go behind the word "nuclear energy". Why? Because TV and the newspapers and the magazines didn't tell them that. Why? Because all these so-called "enviromental friendly" energies produce the same green house gases at the end. That's right. We can never escape the death grip of carbon dioxide. We can run, but we can't hide. And don't even bother arguing with me unless you have a PhD in nuclear or chemical engineering. Otherwise I'm already smarter than you.

2.) What's that? I'm a cocky son of a bitch? Oh, you mean you didn't know that? What a shame. Well, welcome to The Exposed Diary of an Extinct Snakehead. I'm your host, Cocky SOB. But you can call me CS. Now sit tight, and enjoy the ride. Don't let the poles hit you in the crotch though, all right? Just cross your legs and you should be fine. And the guys, please take off your shirt. Oh, those with man-breasts, please put your shirt back on. Thank you.

3.) I think gay republicans are stupid. Probably as stupid as these midgets, if not more. Oh wait. That midgets vs. lion story is fake. Which means that gay republicans are just plain retards.

Gay republicans = {(stupid) x (idiotic) x (moronic)} to the power of infinity + 1

4.) My mom once told my brother that I have big dick. OK, that sounded very very perverted. It's not, actually. That was long long time ago, when me and my brother were still young, like younger than 10 (bare in mind that in Malaysia, kids don't think about sex until they are like, 16) or something. I remember my mom said that to him while she was giving him a bath (that's how young he was). Now shut up! My mom is not perverted! I will slap each and every one of you who thinks she is. If you're a guy then I'll slap your balls instead of your face. Like this.

5.) That big dick of mine? Yeah, it has gotten a lot bigger since then. Want to see it? I'm having an open pants on this coming Sunday at 2pm. Sorta like open house, but you get to check out what's in my pants. Cool huh.

Bummer. I really didn't want to end at odd number. But I gotta go take a shower and give my big dick a nice scrub down. Oh well, I guess NDC will just have to live with it.