Thursday, July 14, 2005

I've never been to me by Charlene is the best song ever. And I'm not kidding.

I have a midterm tomorrow on molecular biology and I have absolutely no idea what's going on in that class because I'm a pothead. There, I said it. I'm a pothead.

Me: "Hi everybody, my name is Snakehead, and I'm a pothead."

Everybody: "Hi Snakehead."

I was going for an AA meeting scenario. Did you catch that? No? Well, You suck.

Anyway, I'm completely fucked. I was looking at the practice midterm, and the only time I moved my pencil was to write today's date. That's all. I kid you not. I kept flipping through the pages, hoping to see some familiar faces, but no. Not even one. In the end, it just got so depressing that I had to go swimming to ease my pain. Did I mention that my butterfly has gotten better? I'm so fucking proud of myself. God, my future is so fucking bright I can't even see it without sunglasses.

People, let me tell you something. If you ever have to take a molecular biology class, please do yourself a favor by either switching your major or just smoke pot all day like me. Because that class is retarded. And stupid. And idiotic. And oh so fucking dry. I mean, who takes that class anyway? Doctors? Well, doctors are stupid then.

I am not a doctor, nor will I ever be. I do, however, have a stethoscope that I use on my patients when they're lying on my bed. I can tell you right now that no matter how hard you try, testicles just don't make any sound at all.

Can you tell that I'm grumpy? You wanna know why? It's because I'm horny. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Right after I wake up. Right before I brush my teeth. Right when I fart . Right now as I'm typing this. It's like I'm in heat or something. Jerking off just don't cut it anymore. I need to fuck. I NEED TO FUCK!!!!!!!

So what's stopping me? My moral values. Yes, contrary to what you guys think of me, I do have moral values. And one of them is not to be a slut. By slut I mean a person who sleeps with 7 different people a week, NOT a person who sleeps with the same person 7 times a week. Plus I'm carless. And there is no gay bar within walking or biking distance.

I hate this shitty town.

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